When I was freed from the fetters of college, and was clamped to the iron chains of the outside world (little did I know), my father had mercy on me and hired me to manage his clinic. My greatest teachers were my parents, especially my mother, who had managed his family practice since the beginning of time. I observed how she responded to cranky patients, problematic employees, indifferent insurance companies, and egotistical sales peope, and arrogant clients. She was firm, yet listened. She was tough, but relenting. She could be sharp as a knife, and as merciful as only a mother could be. And she had the patience of Job. I knew that these skills took years of develpment, and knew that I had a long way to go.
One of the main traits that I was able to garner from my 8 years of servitude was that through all the trials and tribulations, my parents always exhibited professional respect to every person. Never did arguments turn into insults. Never did they allow a frustrating situation make them exhibit extreme irrational behavior. Through all of the years I worked there, never did I hear yelling or the use of foul language. The style of leadership exhibited from my parents radiated to all in the workplace - employees, patients, sales people, etc. so that over time, those that entered our medical practice knew the atmosphere and what to expect of every person. They would receive human dignity and respect. They would recieve it through our words, our ears, and our actions. It did not mean that they would get what they wanted; my mom was no push over! But it meant that she would take the time to speak with them, listen to them, and explain things, even if they did not want to hear it.
In the end, my father had a successful practice that he was able to sell for a good chunk of change, and now is enjoying his retirement. The doctor that took the practice over nearly ran it into the ground within a year. That is another story, but I saw the way he treated his employees and everyone else, and I could tell why no one wanted to work with him. He lacked the ability to give respect to those around him.
Learning this trait has been invaluable to me as I deal with borrowers, real estate agents, mortgage brokers, appraisal management companies, builders, and buyers and sellers. Every once in a while, our office gets "The Call" about the appraisal that didn't make the purchase price. Actually, it is a barrage of calls from all parties involved in the transaction, so we get hit from every angle. "Don't you know what you are doing?", "I never have this problem with the other appraisers!", "You are blowing the whole deal!", "You really f------ me up and ruined months of work!" These are the more tame calls we have recieved. I haven't been perfect in all of my responses, but I always strive to do better. These are frustrated responses of people that more than likely have no understanding of the appraisal process. The may think that USPAP is a medical exam, and not the bible that we as appraisers must abide by for every single appraisal. Sometimes, you just can't communicate with them, and a polite silence and "thank you and goodbye" is the best policy. It takes practice. I takes patience (alot of it). It also takes a good amount of humility to listen, and admit that sometimes a mistake can be made (although the appraisal is usually double and triple checked, especially when it does not make the sales price). Many times these callers haven't even seen the appraisal report.
If you're frustrated, It's best to take a deep breathe, and collect your thoughts. Get all of the information before making judgement. Try to understand before being understood. Don't make rash judgements. In this way, you will be well informed, and will appear to everyone (especially yourself) as a professional, or at least a reasonable person.
So, in summary: Be respectful. Getting angry is fine, but don't call me names. Don't insult me. Don't be-little my profession. There is a big chance that I may know what I am talking about.